Poetry – writersleaf

Maybe in Another Life!

I pushed you away, though you were so near,  
In the shadow of my fear, I drowned in the tears.  
Afraid to lose you, I shattered us first,  
Fed my own needs, made you feel the worst.  

Trust I broke a thousand times and more,  
Blinded by my pain, I closed every door.  
You stood there silent, never left my side,  
But my insecurities made you feel denied.  

I never saw the love, so pure, so bright,  
Chose my fears instead, plunged us into the night.  
Now I sit with the emptiness inside,  
For losing you, I lost my pride.  

You were my home, my shelter, my grace,  
But now I stand alone, lost in this space.  
Maybe in the next life, we'll meet again anew,  
I’ll be wiser, and I’ll cherish you.  

Forgive me now, for all I’ve done wrong,  
For in my heart, you still belong.  
I promise next time, I’ll be mature and true,  
And I’ll make it right, just me and you.

I Was Wrong! – Aditi Gupta

The day I said I love you,
I wrote a poem for you.

I poured my heart out,
And for you, 
They were just words.

My feelings didn't affect you,
Your I love you were in vain.

You said it made you feel special,
But, in reality, 
You felt nothing.

You said we have a future together,
But I was blind not to see your lies.

I was just a girl,
Who fell in love with a boy.

But you were not in love,
You needed someone to hold.

You left me all alone,
With a feeling of haterade,
I thought I would never feel.

But I guess,
The mistake was all mine.
I gave you the chance to leave me behind.

My heart still feels the pain,
My thoughts still linger around your words,
But my mind asks me to stop.

With you, I felt complete,
But I was a fool,
To not see the pain behind my smile.

You moved on so quickly,
Like you never felt a thing.

Maybe for you, I was just a fling.

And it all started again! – Aditi Gupta

I am tired of feeling this way,
My heart is aching, 
And there is nothing I can do.

This feeling of betrayal is tearing me apart. 

From day one, 
All I have witnessed are fights.

The mere happiness in my life is also fading, 
And now I am lost for good. 

The person I imagined spending my life with makes me cry. 

This heartbreak is killing me from the inside.

I am tired of proving myself,
Tired of begging, 
And asking people to stay.

For once,
I want to feel alive.

For once,
I want to smile a genuine smile.

All I feel is my breathing being heavy,
My heart clutched,
And the death of my soul.

Life is unpredictable,
But then why is mine so easy to predict?

Despite my best efforts, 
Nothing seems to be going well.

I am dying daily,
And now tears are also left dry.

Nither I can cry, 
Nor can I smile.

Everything is fading,
And there is nothing left to hold.

My heart is aching,
And these thoughts are corrupting my mind.

I just want it to end,
Want to stop breathing,
And fade like I never existed.

A Knock From The Past – Aditi Gupta

I was doing okay,
But then you messaged,
Saying you want me back.

That you can't stop thinking about me,
That you missed our talks,
Our late-night chats,
And our 3 AM calls.

You said you were sorry,
But when I asked for what?

Your answer was just like that.

You asked me to give you another chance,
Saying you want us to be like before.

But how can we be the same,
When you broke me again?

You said it felt nice when we started talking again.

I asked what you wanted me to do?

You said to be with you.

I didn't know what to say,
So I asked, why me?
When you were the one who ended everything?

Your answer made me laugh,
You said after we broke up you didn't feel right,
So you wanted to give me some time. 

And now, after all the thinking, 
You were here,
Asking me to be with you again.

But bub, you lost your chance,
Because when you had me,
You broke me again.

Love indeed comes in many forms, but our generation thinks a minor attraction qualifies as love. Each of us is seeking someone who is there for us without judging us, but in our search, we meet people who aren't right for us, which makes us even bitter.

But can love be blamed for this? No, we can't blame love for this, because love is not something that can be planned, it happens unexpectedly and with unexpected people, so if you're looking for it, just stop, because they will find you, and they will understand you, with just a glance.

In my opinion, we all feel like we aren't perfect, and even I feel like that sometimes because I've made mistakes and even gone after the wrong guys, but does that mean I've given up on love? At one time, yes, I thought that the concept of love had been emphasized excessively, and we all did this, because of which we are now scared of this feeling where we want someone to be with us all the time.

As a reader, I am drawn to romantic novels and their happy endings because I know that what I have experienced is not love, and I am not going to seek it out any longer because seeking it only made me miserable, and all I want now is to smile more and be happier. Thus, before you decide to love someone, love yourself first. The person you love may not be with you forever, but you sure will.

And someone once told me to love little things in life because those little things can make you change a lot. I wrote this because a knock from the past can make you question many things, and it's best to move on because that part of your story is over, and to grind about something that had already happened will only consume your time and will only spoil your present.

New Chapters – Aditi Gupta

Many days have passed,
Many are yet to come.

But still, afraid of this world.

Want to disappear,
In the shadow of the night,
Don't want to be found,
By the two-faced people in my life.

The hypocrisy is their nature,
The bitterness is their talk.

I no longer want to mingle with the likes of you all.

Finally found my peace in this silence,
The silence of this beautiful night,
Where time stops,
And every memory is alive.

Be it a blessing or a nightmare,
But those moments were a chapter of mine.

The book is still incomplete,
Still looking for its ending,
But no longer have any protagonist.

My story is finally getting its pace,
The cruelty of your words helped me realise my worth.

You made me feel ashamed,
Your gestures were a game.

The broken me was looking for someone to blame,
But now I'm thankful for the lesson,
The lesson of heartbreak.

Finally I'm back on my track,
Ready to unfold the new chapters,
With laughter and cries, 
But in the end, they will be only mine.

Bedtime – Aditi Gupta

I hate my bedtime,
The time when everything stops.

Making everything still.

But this mind wanders,
Creating scenarios that will never be real.

The darkness haunts me,
The loneliness abounds me,
The feeling of betrayal still surrounds me.

I don't know what to expect,
I never asked for much.

The care I wished,
The love I hoped,
The trust I needed was never there when I was at my worst.

It's hard for me to believe that I am cherished.

Several have betrayed me,
I have been hurt by many.

But still, I am naive to trust.

Not sure what to do,
Still searching for the trail to follow.

Wishing this darkness would clear,
And the light of hope shines.

My world is turning dark,
All I want is a little colour to make it bright.

Finding Myself!

I guess I am lost, 
Lost in the expectations. 

I want to leave, 
But it is a tough decision. 

It has become less about me, 
And more about what people expect me to be. 

I don’t want to give up, 
But what is my option? 

To find me, 
I have to give it all up. 

I ain’t there yet, 
But someday, I will. 

I want to enjoy that day, 
With everything I have. 

I want to witness the sun changing colours, 
And sky shedding tears. 

I want to dance in the moonlight, 
While being barefoot at the seaside. 

The star will sing their lullaby, 
And the moon will shine brightly, 
Making my heart race, 
Everyone will be happy. 

The colourless night will be my canvas, 
And then I will repaint my story. 

The story of the lost me, 
The story of finding myself again, 
The night will be young, 
And I will write again.

The New Beginning With A Sad Ending!

Sometimes all I can think about is the past,
The days that broke my heart,
The sky that laughed on my misery,
And the friends that left me at my worst.

My ending is still not clear,
But want to start over,
Cause this loneliness is making me miserable,
And my heart is not strong enough to handle another blow.

With everything planned,
I don’t know where I stand,
With everyone happy,
I am the only one with a frown.

We all want to skip to the good part,
But what about the days that broke our hearts?

Being here is making me doubt my worth.

I tried crying,
But my tears are left dry.

Even my eyes are tired of shedding water,
And my brain is asleep because now it doesn’t matter.

Making a smile on your face is not hard,
It's easy to let people know that everything is fine,
Cause they don’t want to hear your story,
All they want is a happy face,
So let’s just fulfil their wish.

Smile and let them know that everything is fine.

The world doesn’t care,
So why make them listen?

I am done for good now, 
My boldness is fading,
Making me weak,
But I still want to begin from scratch,
And complete this sad ending with a new beginning.

Again!

When I thought everything was fine, 
The same thing happened again. 

It seems that sadness is still hovering over me, 
And this time it is heavy!

The past seems to be dead, 
Yet mine keeps repeating. 

As time passes, 
I weep every night.

They say I am an emotional burden.

But that's not the case. 

My point is no longer valid since my opinion has changed.

But is it even fair to blame me?

When you don't even know the whole story? 

I am tired of repeating myself, 
Tired of proving myself,
Will we be able to settle this out? 

Because now I don’t want to argue.

Don’t want to settle.

I lost my trust,
My hope is also gone. 

I thought we were good,
But I was so wrong. 

Even the mere appearance of another person can break our bond. 

Your words made me realize my worth.

Those comments you made broke my heart.

It's time to end this meaningless friendship,
Because you never trusted our bond.

My Future Someone.

I heard about the novel romance,
But then reality strikes my mind.

All these stories,
All this romance,
Were never a part of my life.

Been waiting for that movie love,
The love where we slow dance in our living room.

Where all the fights, 
And all the arguments,
End with cute little confessions.

Been waiting for my future, someone.

Who makes me laugh when I'm crying.

I want someone,
Who holds my hand, 
Who pulls me closer,
Who kisses me hard and makes me smile. 

Been waiting for that movie love,
Where giving up is not an option.

Love where disputes arise,
But making up to each other is not a burden.

Love where fights turn into a make-out session.

Been waiting for that young love,
Even when we grow old together.

I want someone with patience to be my man.

Who kisses me on the forehead,
And plans a date night.

I want a man who is patient and kind.

I need a man who loves me even at my worse.

Cause I know, 
I will love you with my all.

I will wait for you,
Even if it takes forever to be with you.

I am not going to lose my faith in love. 

Cause love,
With you, 
I would love to spend my forever.