Sometimes

Sometimes words are stuck in my mouth,
Want to shout but hardly speak loud.
The messy head is filled with thoughts,
The will to smile is lost.
All I want is to lie on my silly old bed,
Where happiness is buried deep inside my head.

The feeling is stuck where something feels off,
I think I don't belong to your world.
My efforts are wasted and nothing last long,
The smile I wanted just vanished and left me all alone.

I pretend with my all might,
That this happiness is real.
But I am surrounded by the world,
Where my smile can not be real.

I am not sure for what I am looking,
Not sure if I plan to spend another day here.
As of now I am tired,
Of this dreadful life I have been living.

But I can't loose the courage,
To light the fire inside my heart.
The lost hope shall not deprived,
As the love for life will arise.

This path of darkness,
Is starting of a tale.
The aisle is a mayhem,
But desire to live shall be more.

Now gazing stars and smiling,
Are part of my life.
With me dancing at every sunset,
And trying to live this lonely life.
  
                                                                         
                                                                                              ~Aditi