Another Scar

Just want another slit on the wrist,
Another scar to resist.
Sleepless nights with mind full of thoughts,
Wondering around,
But surroundings all quite with no lullaby.
Tears are falling,
Breathing being heavy.
This isn't fair,
But I'm too tired to fight.
My heart is aching,
Soul screaming inside.
I cry covering my mouth,
Suppressing my voice,
So none can hear a thing.
These thoughts are corrupting my mind,
Poisoning my blood,
Making it hard to breath.
It came again tonight,
My self-loathing.
Up my throat,
Ripping my heart.
A scream,
A silent scream.
'I am alone', 
Left my mouth.
With a blade in my hand,
As time passes,
The cut gets deeper.
Blood running down from my arm,
Leaving an angry mark.
Warmth of blood,
Soothes as it floods,
Worked as a charm.
It's three am,
I am in my bed,
The silence of night was interrupted by the thoughts.
Tears were dwelling,
But I refused to shed a single drop.
Shout that it's wrong,
Say I'm not strong.
But holding a blade,
Doesn't it prove that I am brave?
                                                           
                                                                                ~Aditi

I wrote this because the urge of holding a blade was back but I am glad I was able to write my feelings. Writing made it easy and I was able to breathe again. Some endings create new beginnings, the starting may not be easy and it may feel like you’re trapped in your own darkness but to shine brightly darkness is necessary.

In reality the night which seems dark, lonely, colourless and dead is actually more alive and richly coloured than a day. The tiny stars shine their fullest in the dark sky fearlessly to make it glow. If they can shine brightly then so can I and all those people who think that a minor set back is a full stop but in reality it’s a beginning of a new story.

So hold your pen and write a new chapter, that too an interesting one just like me, cause in the end it will all make sense…!!